"Pretty is..."

“Mommy I want you to be pretty when you got to school.” Emily said to me tonight. 

“What?” I countered.   “I’m not pretty when I usually take you to school?”

“Well I want you to wear earrings and necklaces.”

“Why?”

“So you will be pretty.”

Hmmm… I thought.  And then I remembered the other day when I was thinking, I wonder if I take enough time outside of children’s classes at church to weave God’s principles into her everyday life (I love that God gave me this teachable moment).  Then I remembered a verse in the Bible…

 “As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.” Proverbs 11:22

“So my earrings and necklaces make me pretty?” I questioned.  “You know there is a verse in the Bible about that? It talks about a pig wearing jewelry.”  At this Emily laughs and laughs.  “Can you imagine a pig wearing earrings?  Would they make that pig look pretty?”  More laughter, she thought the idea of a pig in earrings was so funny.  I went on to explain how I wear my comfy clothes to take her to school because baby brother and I usually go walking after we drop her off.

I have made it a point to always let Emily know how beautiful and wonderful I think she is.  From the time she was a baby I have told her so, and will continue to do so.  As she has grown, as all little girls do, she enjoys dress up and play jewelry.  These things are so much fun for little girls and even for big girls like myself (my closet and jewelry box will attest to that).  On several occasions she has asked me, “Mommy am I pretty?”  To which I always reply, “You are beautiful always, in your pretty dress, or your nightgown, and even in your messy clothess. ”  I want her to know she is beautiful because she is, not because of what she adorns herself with whether it be a fluffy dress, mommy’s make-up, or clip-on earrings.  And I want her to know that her beauty is also on the inside, and that’s what’s most important.

The verse in Proverbs refers to discretion which is translated taste, perception, intelligence(from E-sword's Strong's references).  A fair (beautiful) woman without these things is just like giving a pig a nose-ring.  I think this is pretty vivid, because a pig is a pig, and a nose-ring doesn’t change that.  Neither will someone’s looks make them any better than what they are inside.  The world so often wants us to believe otherwise, which is why from the beginning I would whisper into Emily’s ear, as she would lay her head on my shoulder, how much I loved her, how wonderful, and beautiful she was.  I have done the same for Joseph, telling him how handsome he is and when we pray before bedtime I always thank God for him and how much we love him.  I want to weave into their very being how valuable and precious they are, and not only to me, but also to our Heavenly Father.  I pray that no matter what the world may try to tell them or how it may attempt to devalue them, they will always know their worth.  But telling them that is not enough, I am also responsible to instill in them godly characteristics that will mold them into the godly young man and woman I pray they will grow up to be one day.  So I am very thankful for this teachable moment and that God brought to mind the right verse to turn this conversation into one I hope she will remember. 

God Always Takes Care of Us

It is amazing, how our youngest Joseph can turn something so simple such as walking into a safety hazard.  Last Wednesday afternoon I had just gotten his big sister Emily into her bed for a nap and before I laid him down for a nap I decide to Mhmm...take care of some business.  So he follows me into the bedroom, just hanging out with Mommy, and he's just walking around....thump, thump, thump, thud, WAHHHHH!  So I hurry up rush out of the bathroom where he is just a few feet away, grab him up and begin to asses the damage.  At first I couldn't figure out where he was hurt, but I knew he was, then I saw what looked like a small scratch just above the outside corner of his left eye.  Sitting him on the bathroom counter I looked him over and discovered the scratch was a gash.  He stopped crying soon after and whimpered only occasionally.  But I was an absolute mess.

 "Emily! Get up!  Come here!  Get your shoes on!"  I was yelling for her to get up,yelling for her to hurry.  Trying to calm down I told her Joseph hurt himself and we had to take him to the hospital.  We hurried out to the car, got buckeled in and headed down the road to the hospital.  While on the way I asked Emily to sing to her brother and talk to him because it was his naptime and he kept turning his head to the side trying to go to sleep.  She was so great singing in the back, clapping her hands along as she sang.  He even laughed a time or two at her.  While we waited the two played.  At one point the nurse came in to talk to me.  As we talked, I noticed out of the corner of my eye Emily quickly began stuffing toys and coloring pages back into my purse. After the nurse left I asked her what she was doing(thinking she might want to play or color more) to which she replied, "getting ready to go."  Listening to the conversation, she thought we were getting ready to leave and was helping get ready.  We waited a bit longer and the two attending nurses came back in to put in a couple of stitches.  I had Emily sit down at the front of the room while I sat near the bed and held onto Joseph's foot.  I don't think it made much of a difference to him, he was too busy screaming while they held him down and stiched up the corner of his eye.  But I wanted to hold him, even in all the commotion and that was all I could hold onto for the moment.  One nurse held him down while the other stitched him up.  The one holding him down began to sing in an attempt to calm the him.  Emily chimed right in singing one of the tunes she learned in school.  I started boo-hooing because although everything was allright it was still just so awful.  We were supposed to be home, snug in our own beds, not all three spending our afternoon in the ER on a hospital bed.  And then they were done. I picked Joseph up held him close and kissing him, whispered, "You did so great, I love you so much."  Emily looked at me and asked if he was going to be okay, "Yes baby," I replied "he's just fine, God always takes care of us."  In that moment I was literally eating my own words.  See earlier in the week my husband and I were having a conversation, I was worried about some things and commented how I wouldn't be suprised if this or that happened.  I wasn't giving God much of a chance to take care of us, and He lovingly reminded me of this, I knew it in my heart and shortly after the conversation asked for forgiveness.  One the way home from the ER I realized the profoundness of those few comforting words I had spoken to Emily, "God always takes care of us."  And He does.  I also realized how something I already knew, (but it's always a delight to be reminded) how amazing my kids, the kids God gave me, are.  Joseph with his royal blue stiches, underneath a bandage covering half of his eyelid and eyebrow, came home with as much energy as if he had been naping all along.  Madalynn was such a big help with her songs, and attempts to get us ready to go.  Although I tried to call my husband home from work to watch her, I am glad she came along with us, she was such a blessing to my heart that day.  Just as I was holding onto Joseph screaming and crying as they stitched him up, I know my Heavenly Father was holding onto me in my pain and distress.


I have been holding onto this one for awhile, I had it written, but it didn't seem finished.  You know Jesus took care of so many people in the Bible, but there is one story that I think is just so tender and sweet.  He was fully God in nature, and yet he was also fully man in nature.  I think this account so strongly speaks of his manhood.  I was reading the other night in John 19, around verses 25-30.  This is where Jesus is on the cross, shortly before His death.  In verse 25 we are told that His mother was standing near Him at the cross.  I can't imagine seeing one of my babies in such a state and not being able to do anything to help make it better. In the next verse He saw His mom and one of His disciples whom He especially loved standing by.  He then in the next two verses and two simple statements, "Woman, behold thy son!" to His mom, and to the disciple, "Behold, thy mother!", ensured His mom would be taken care of when He was gone.  Shortly after in verse 30, His work was finished and He "gave up the ghost."  As I read this my heart was so moved, I actually teared up.  I think this is one of the most tender stories of Jesus in the Bible.   As I was reading I was reminded of this story I had been holding onto.  I remembered how my heart swelled in the ER that day when I noticed that Emily had gathered up our things and was helping to get ready to go.  How sweet that was that she was trying to help me.  I also remembered the powerful words I spoke to her as we left, "God always takes care of us."  Those words are life to those who believe in Him, they are sustenance, for that is how we still are, because He keeps us so.

"Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother, and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene.  When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son!  Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.  After this, Jesus knowing that all things were now accomplished, that the scripture might be fulfilled, saith, I thirst.  Now there was set a vessel full of vinegar: and they filled a spunge with vinegar, and put it upon hyssop, and put it to his mouth.  When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, It is finished: and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost."                                   John 19:25-30

Whose are you?

Rom 8:16 The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God: 

One of my favorite stories to tell of Emily when she was around two and a half.  She was in the kitchen as was I, and I can't remember what we were doing but she hurt her hand.  And like kids typically do she held out her hand to me to make it better.  So of course I kissed her hand and loved on her a bit.  Just after I let her go, a thought popped into my mind, I'm not sure how clean that hand was.  So I kind of  wiped my mouth off, as if that would really make a difference.  Then I look down at Emily and she's looking at her hand where I had just kissed it and she wipes my kiss off on her pants!  I couldn't help but laugh, because in that moment(as if I hadn't already known) I thought, "yep, she's mine."  I think the story is funny and have told it several times.  Those who know me know that germs and I have, well, a relationship of sorts.  The kind where one of us generally runs away screaming. Preferably it's them. 


I sat and pondered this today as I was lying down with Emily at naptime.  And the simple thought comes to mind...I am the King's daughter.  Every little girl dreams of being a princess.  Well I am.  My Father is The King of Kings, the God of the universe.  But do other's know He's mine, and I am His?  I tell Emily often, that she's beautiful when she's in her pj's, when her hairs not brushed, and even when she's all dressed up for church.  And when we talk about being a princess I remind her that she needs to act like one, as should I.  Consider your words, your actions, your thoughts, your influence.  Can others tell who you belong to?

God Knows All About Me

I love the title to this post, just saying it makes me feel better.  One evening a few weeks ago, God tenderly reminded me of this.  It had been a very, very long day.  Our son Joseph had a procedure coming up on the tear duct for his left eye, and I had spent the day making phone calls verifying times and procedures, payments, and health insurance coverage and deductibles.  By the end of the day I was exhausted physically and mentally.  I literally could not think anymore.  Jason took Emily to dance class while I bathed Joseph and got him in bed.  After I got him in bed I headed for the bed too.  Before I crashed I wanted to spend some time in God's word.  Before I start I usually pray to ask for God to speak to me how He sees fit and that He would bless my reading to my spiritual nourishment.  This night my prayer was short.  I felt so overwhelmed, like I had so much to tell God about my day and the decisions to be made.  But I didn't even know where to start, so this was my prayer, "Dear Lord, there is just so much to say I don't know where to start, so please just hear what's on my heart."  Sitting on the edge of my bed, I began to open my Bible.  I looked over at the baby monitor to check on Joseph, and something caught my eye, so I took a closer look.  When we put him to bed lately he wants to take a book with him so we let him have a book to look at.  I had to look closely to see the book, but there it was face up right where I could read it, what I was seeing was the book he had in his bed that night, God Knows All About Me, by Kate Toms.  All I could do was to smile.  I loved this book from the moment I saw it, because the message it brings is so true.  I want my kids to know how precious they are to God, and that night God reminded me how precious I am to Him.  He knew all about my day, my phone calls, my financial concerns.  He knew what was on my heart and all the things I wanted Him to know but was to exhausted to actually say.


Jeremiah 1:5  Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

 Matthew 10:30 But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

When I think of my grandmother, a passage from 2 Timothy 1:5 comes to mind. 


 "When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also."


At the hospital, before she passed away, there were a few moments where it was just me and my grandfather in the room with my grandma.  I wanted to tell her goodbye and express my heart to her one last time.  I stood up and leaned in close, arms resting on the bedrail.  I could only whisper to her through my tears and I hope she heard me.  I thanked her for the godly legacy she left.  I told her I was so glad I got to go grow up in church with her there too.  I thanked her for the care and concern she showed towards me and Jason, and our children.  She knew she was blessed and recognized how good God had been to her.  She also knew that how to show love to God is by showing His love towards others.  One way my grandmother did this was by helping out with some of our physical needs such as groceries, or the one time when she gave us a whole new set of towels.  And I know she did this for others too.  I told her how much I loved her and how much I would miss her.  And I told her I wasn't going to tell her goodbye, but that I would see her later, when I get to heaven.


During the planning of her funeral, my uncle told one particular story several times about Grandma.  Whenever he would talk with my grandmother about the classes he was teaching at church, she would always remind him to include the plan of salvation in every class.  He told this story several times during the days preeceding the funeral, as if he was bragging on her.  I think it brought him comfort knowing that God's plan for redemption, His amazing love for us, was so important to her. 


After her funeral we returned home, and the following night was Wednesday night church.  I am the children's teacher and I was somewhat at a loss of what to teach, I hadn't given it much thought and didn't really feel like teaching.  As I sat at the  kitchen table trying to prepare, my eyes came to rest on the folder they passed out at her funeral, and my uncles words came to mind.  I knew the only lesson I could possibly teach that night was on God's amazing love and salvation.  So I took the funeral folder to church with me that night and I showed the class her pictures, and I told them how great she was and how much I loved her, about how she passed away and how sad it made me.  And then I told them how I would get to see her again.  And I told them about God's love for us, and how Jesus died for us. 


My uncles words about grandma are still crystal clear in my mind and I have thought on them several times the past few weeks.  I am so glad he told that story, it's just another piece I have of her that I can treasure.  Just like those words in Timothy speak of the godly legacy his grandmother left, I have that same legacy for which I am so grateful.

Rest For This Weary Soul

A few weeks ago, October 7th at 10:40 a.m., my grandmother on my mother's side passed away.  I have never been that close to death before.  I have never seen someone die before, and I wouldn't count the fake performances on TV.  Early that morning sometime between 12 and 1 am the phone rang.  My husband has a cell phone which he uses for church business, so I knew when the house phone rang, it was family and something was wrong.  It was my dad who called to tell us my grandmother had a stroke, and they were moving her from one hospital to another.  About 30-40 minutes later he called and said they were going to perform a procedure to determine if surgery would be needed.  We live two and a half hours away, and Emily had a teddy bear tea party the next day for school, for which she had picked out her mommy and me teddy bear with a little photo pocket on the front to take with her to the tea party.  I thought I would take her to school the next day and then leave for Gainesville after school.  The next couple of hours I spent praying, in and out of sleep, and waiting to hear from my father.  He finally called me and said they had decided not to do the surgery becasue the damage done was unrepairable, in tears he told me we needed to come on up to tell her goodbye.  So at about 4 in the morning I got up began to dig through the pile of laundry on the couch trying to gather some clothes for the four of us to wear.  The drive up was a numbing one.   When I got there my dad tried to prepare me for what she looked like, I just wanted to get in to her.  I just sat by her bed and looked at her.  The woman I loved and respected as a grandma, who I had just spoken with a few days earlier, had been reduced to lying unconscious in a hospital bed.  It seemed so humiliating and unfair.  My dad warned me she would move her legs here and there, but she wasn't...there.  As I sat there, head in my arms, I cried, silently screaming out to God in anger, "Where is she?  If she's not here then where is she?!"  When I think about it I still shake my head in disbelief.  During her viewing and funeral I had a few people tell me how she was so proud of me.  Silently I thought, "How?"  I really wished they would elaborate.  But didn't dare to ask.  I was in pitiful shape.  As difficult as it was losing my gradnmother, that wasn't the end nor the beginning of the pain I was feeling. My husband is the pastor at our church and things had become very difficult at times, especially in my relationships with some of the members.  I had really been struggling in this particular area for almost a year.  I felt like a class A loser.  I felt like I didn't do the right things or say the right things, it had become almost second nature for me to walk away from even the smallest everyday conversations or situations questioning had I done the right thing or said the right thing. I knew my grandma was proud of me, and it was really nice to be reminded of that, but I didn't feel like someone to be proud of.  When we got home I had to go back to taking my kids to school, and teaching Wednesday night and Sunday morning children's class at church, things I didn't really feel like doing.  I barely got the grocery shopping done.  The first couple of weeks were difficult.  I had to leave my family, and come back home, and somehow carry on.  It was really hard.  I knew I needed something, so one day while Joseph took his morning nap, I lay on the bed and began searching through God's word.  I began a search under the word weary.  That is how I felt, I was weary in every way.  And God gave me these verses to lift me up, to hold me close, and give me hope.

Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of his understanding.  He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength.  Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.             Isaiah 40:28-31

I remember these verses often, because I need the reminder often.  I just remind myself that one day in God's time if I wait on the Lord, my strength will be renewed,  I will run and not be weary, I will walk and not faint.  I just remind myself, make it through today, it will get better.  And it will if I have hope, and God has given me that.  It makes me happy now when I think about how my grandma was proud of me and makes me want to be even better. 

Avoiding the Void

So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.         Isaiah 55:11


Being the mom of small ones, I often end up in the church nursery with them on Sunday mornings and evenings.  Our youngest group of children is blossoming, but is still small, and some days it's just me and my kids in the nursery.  We sit in services for as long as we can, and then we retreat to the nursery.  Our nursery is nice, stocked with lots of fun toys, a couple of rockers, and even some books.  Usually the kids have play time, and occasionally I'll read them a book.  A few times however instead of a children's book, I decided to open up my Bible and read to them while they are playing.  It sort of came to me one day, and so I did.  It was pressed upon me the words of Isaiah 55:11 So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.

I realized that while they are small and may not have any understanding of what I am reading, one day they will.  And until they do, and even after, and forever on I have the promise given here that God's word will never return unto Him void.  So while they may not understand what I am reading, what I am reading is that powerful, that it is still blessing them and me as well. 


For awhile I have been struggling in my walk with the Lord.  I know I have faltered in the time I spend with Him reading His word and in prayer.  Sometimes I feel disconnected, even though I am still serving.  I have felt the burden of the Lord showing me that I really need to spend more time with Him.  So I purposed to make more of an effort in this area, but I didn't really know where to start.  I didn't have a particular subject area or study to begin with.  One morning God reminded me of the promise in Isaiah, the one I claimed over my children as I began reading to them in the nursery that day.  He reminded me to just read, whenever, wherever, that His word would accomplish His purposes in me even though I felt so disconnected, even though I didn't really know where to start.  All I needed to do was read, and His spirit would move and guide me.  His word will always be a blessing to me, and the more it is a part of my life in any aspect, the more blessings I will receive.  I praise God for this gift I have access to so freely and I pray I will only learn to appreciate it more and more, and never take it for granted.